


Fixing a lack of grooming

by Stranded_In_The_Cosmos



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel wings are terribly groomed, Beelzebub will not stand for these unsightly wings, Gabriel has six wings, Gabriel needs to take care of his wings, How Do I Tag, Mild Language, No beta we fall like Crowley, Other, Wing Care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23133718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stranded_In_The_Cosmos/pseuds/Stranded_In_The_Cosmos
Summary: Demon wings are the same as angel wings, often better groomed though.Beelzebub will not stand for this lack of wing care.
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 63





	Fixing a lack of grooming

**Author's Note:**

> Second Ineffable Bureaucracy fic! Hope you enjoy!

It happened in the short span of one afternoon.

Gabriel had just been watching the Prince of Hell enjoy some human food, or at least he thought they were enjoying it, it was hard to tell when they were always frowning or had a look of apathy.

“Zzo, you anglezz zztill taking care of each otherzzz wings up there?” Beelzebub asked suddenly.

“Hm? What do you mean?” Gabriel asked in return.

“What are you daft? Angelzz alwayzz kept their wingzz perfect,” Bee rolled their eyes.

“Oh, yes,” Gabriel laughed, a little embarrassed. “We got so busy after the Fall, with Eden and so many angels missing. Not to mention there was suddenly and enemy, so it slipped our minds I guess,” He admitted.

Bee looked at him suspiciously. “You zztill groom your wingzz zzometimezz right?”

Gabriel shrugged. “Haven’t thought about it really,”

“Zzzzince when?”

“Oh, not since after the Fall, nasty sword through the wing,” Gabriel clenched his jaw at the thought. “Why do you ask?”

Bee looked at him incredulously. “It’zz been over six thousand yearzzz since you cleaned your wingzz?”

“Can’t be that bad,”

“What do you mean not that bad?” Bee snapped their fingers, paying the bill. “Do you know how bad you’re wingzz muzzt be?”

“You’re overreacting,” Gabriel huffed. “My wings are most likely fine Beelzebub,”

Bee shook their head and grabbed Gabriel’s arm, pulling him up. “I’ll zzzhow you overreacting once I take care of your wingzzz,”

“W-what?” Gabriel was wide-eyed.

“I’m grooming you’re wingzz, no way out of it,” Bee pulled Gabriel flush to their chest and sunk into the ground. There was no way Bee was letting Gabriel get out of this one.

*In Hell*

“Zzzatan’z azz Gabriel, your wingz are worzze than I thought. I mean, zzeriously,” Beelzebub grunted, working another knot out of Gabriel’s top left wing. “They’re an abzzolute mezzz,” Another knot was worked out, making Gabriel hiss in pain. 

“Could you not tug so hard? It feels like you are tearing out my wings,” Gabriel hissed.

“I wouldn’t have to if you’re wingzz weren’t covered in zzomebody knowz yearz of shedding,” Beelzebub petted Gabriel’s hair before dragging their fingers through Gabriel’s wing and pulling out more of the old feathers that would’ve begun to hurt if Bee didn’t take care of them. “What do you angelzz if you’re not grooming?”

Gabriel shrugged slightly, before hissing in pain as the movement went against Bee’s tight grip. “We have more important things to do, like besting the adversary, can you not tug?”

Bee laughed but gentled their grip. “Mmm, yezz, iz thizz what you’d call besting the adversary? Zzitting at their kneezz, at their will?” They tugged more excess feathers out of Gabriel’s wing.

Gabriel shuddered, but maintained his composure. “Well, you’re not doing any evil while I sit here, so I would call that besting you,” He hissed again when Bee’s fingers tugged again. 

Bee laughed again. “But I am keeping you from doing any good, zzo wouldn’t I be besting you?” They tugged again. “Almost done with this wing lilium,” They say gently. 

“I suppose it is all on which way you view it,” Gabriel hissed as Bee dragged their fingers long and hard.

“You might juzzt be right,” Bee combed Gabriel’s feathers gently, before ruffling the angel’s meticulous hair. “There’s that wing done. How are you feeling?” 

Gabriel’s wings fluttered a bit. “Still stings, but better,”

Bee patted Gabriel’s wing. “Good, it zzzhould zztop zztinging after a while, but we’re not done yet lilium,” 

“Really? I have at least five better things we could be doing right now,” Gabriel groaned.

Bee hooked their legs around his shoulders from their position on their throne. “We zztill have five wings to get through, and you haven’t done anything with them in far too many millennia. And I will not zztand for thizzz. Zzo yezz, really,” 

“Your legs are not going to keep me pinned, I could just sit up,” Gabriel deadpanned. 

“Of course, you could, but I’d juzzt pull you back and ask Dagon for a favor,” Bee said with a wicked smile. “I’m zzure zzhe hazz something that could hold even you down zzo I could groom your wingzz. Zzhe izz the mazzter of torture after all. Or you could zzzit there nicely and let me groom you,” 

Gabriel shuddered, knowing Bee would really do it if he pushed them too. “All right, I’ll stay still,” He conceded, sore wings were going to be enough for the time being.

“Good,” Bee smiled and moved Gabriel into another position so they could get the top right wing. “Wazzn’t zzzo hard now, wazz it?” 

Gabriel huffed, but smiled all the same. Despite everything, Bee cared about him. And while Gabriel was still figuring out how to thank them for that, the least he could do was do as told. 

After what felt like days, but in reality, was just hours, Bee combed the last wing and smiled. 

"All done lilium, you did zzzo good," Bee praised, gently massaging Gabriel's wings. "You're wingzz look far better, and zzzhould feel better,"

"Not as heavy," Gabriel yawned. 

Bee glanced down at the pile of lilac feathers that went up to their knees. "No zzzhit, I'm zzhocked you didn't get wing or feather rot from thizz. You angelzz zzshould really groom more,"

"How would we thwart you if we did?" Gabriel smiled. 

"I'm zzzure you'd find a way," Beelzebub ruffled Gabriel's hair again. "You relish in thwarting. Couldn't go without it,"

"Mmm," Gabriel hummed. 

"Tired?" Bee smiled. Gabriel leaned back so his head was in Bee's lap. "I'll take that as a yes, let's get to bed," They picked Gabriel up easily, as if he wasn't nearly twice the size of them. 

Somewhere along the way to their bedroom Gabriel fell asleep in the prince’s arms. Bee noticed this and felt their heart swell. Demon’s shouldn’t be able to love. But, somehow, demon after demon kept falling in love. Bee blamed it on the Apocadon’t, all these beings with no war to look forward to anymore. What else were they supposed to do?

And maybe Beelzebub knew there was some ineffable interference as well.

Bee slept soundly with Gabriel in their arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment if you can they make my day!


End file.
